This story was shared with us from Kelley Mason, founder and president of Kozy Karrier. We heart her mei tais, and we really love that when you buy one of the carriers, you're supporting a local family, a mama who works from home to be near her 5 children.The most recent addition to the Mason brood is Baby Thrace. He, like two of her other children, was born at home as an unassisted childbirth (UC) with a midwife friend on standby, if needed. But more importantly, she did it surrounded by the love of her family.
We wanted to share her amazing story with you. It's a nice, peaceful, and slightly long tale, so settle in with the popcorn, folks...
An editor's note: For space purposes, I took excerpts from this intense UC story. Kelley Mason logged all of the details at her Enter Gently site. I urge you to go to Thrace's page and read about this fantastic experience!
Below is Kelley's telling of Thrace's birth.
We were planning another UC, but like with the last two, I had my midwife friend Tierney available should I need her for anything. She is so wonderfully supportive, such a blessing!
I did the pregnancy myself again too, but had her palpate a few times etc. (nothing like having someone who had her hands on hundreds of pg bellies to reassure you that what you think is a head is indeed a head, LOL).
Each UC has been harder. What I mean is that I was more laid back with the first one, but with each one, I get more paranoid and wondering about the ‘what ifs’. I think partly it is because I know more and sometimes knowledge isn’t a good thing, LOL! And because the kids are older now, and are so excited and invested in it . . . and I wanted to make sure I was doing the right thing for them.
So pregnancy is full of praying, reading scripture and seeking out any leading from God that maybe I should do things differently. I also keep an open mind during the birth and am so grateful for the fact that I CAN call someone for more support (either helping with the kids or supporting Charlie or I OR being there as a midwife).
Anyway, I had more herbs on hand and more information in my head on what to do should there be a problem. I didn’t anticipate a problem, but was definitely prepared should one come up. I also listened to heart tones more during this birth. Regardless, any doubts and fears I have are usually gone once labor hits and my instincts really kick in.
My EDD was the 23rd and though I had increased BH (Braxton-Hicks) contractions, I didn’t notice anything to make me think labor would be soon. On the 24th, though, something was ‘different’. I felt different, I was getting sporadic, crampy contractions (which I had had before, but this day I had more) and I had really slowed down. Charlie’s parents watched the kids while we got groceries (first time getting groceries alone) and I kept having him slow down because I couldn’t keep up.
That night I was awaken by contractions a few times so when I got up the next morning (the 25th) and had bloody show, I was not at all surprised.
I started with contractions every hour or so and they picked up during the day. I think I was able to get a nap in with Ever. Though his nursing was painful and eventually I made him stop and he threw a fit and I remember being sad thinking this may be the last time I nap with just him. And I didn’t have any nausea yet so I was able to eat all day. Though I had the typical upset stomach so I was using the bathroom a lot too.
I spent the day cleaning, doing laundry (clean sheets for the bed), last minute organizing of baby stuff, I cleaned some carpets etc. and had pretty good contractions throughout the day and bloody show consistently all day. I listened to the baby’s heart tones a few times and he was always very active. I talked to Tierney that evening and gave her a heads up. She told me she had a commitment the next evening but I was sure, considering my pattern from the previous births, that baby would be born before another 24 hours since I was having pretty good contractions all day.
I wouldn’t have considered it active labor until around 8 that night. Around 8 is when I was no longer able to talk through them (though I couldn’t walk through them for a while) but rather had to concentrate, sway etc. At 11 or so we put the kids in bed and thankfully things were still, at that point, where I could lie down and nurse Ever to sleep. When we got up it was around midnight. I told Charlie I would not be going to bed and that I would love it if he stayed up too, but he could sleep on the sofa or whatever. With all of my kids I have labored at night while he was in bed, but for some reason I wanted him closer in case I needed him.
Through the night the contractions picked up even more. They were still between 5-20 min apart (averaging probably 10-15) and I started getting nauseated so I took a lemon and grated the peel a bit and carried it around with me sniffing it. I had heard that it helped with the nausea and let me tell you, it really did! I carried that thing with me everywhere sniffing it. At some point (I am thinking maybe 2am or so) I was starting to get more in ‘labor land’ and I got rid of my pants.
Between contractions I would usually walk around, sit, or sway or ‘dance’. I couldn’t really ‘do’ anything. I couldn’t focus on any activity. They were still very strong but I don’t consider them painful, they just take concentration and complete relaxation.
Somewhere around 3-4 or so the ‘transition’ type contractions hit me. I was having the shakes (very cold) but then I would be hot. The contractions were now radiating around my back and legs and I had to moan through them. Though I still didn’t consider them super painful, just very intense, requiring complete concentration and sometimes they even felt good. I would moan, whisper “yes” or “good”. I kept my face and hands and body relaxed. I recognized this pattern from my previous 2 labors. I was getting very tired physically, but mentally I felt good, like I had the whole day before. I didn’t have any issues with being unprepared for labor like the last 2 (when I had wanted a few more days to finish up stuff), so I didn’t have that hanging me up. I was more in the ‘labor zone’ mentally and was spending time praying and talking to baby between contractions. And he was moving a lot the whole time so that was comforting. I watched the sun come up and was glad because I really wanted to give birth during the day.
I think it was around 6-7 that I woke Charlie up telling him I thought I would be pushing soon. The contractions had gotten pushy at the peak and I recognized this as a sign that the pushing contractions would be soon (in the last labor I had woken him up at this point to have him fill the pool, and Ever was born just 2-3 hrs later). I figured I’d have another ‘morning’ baby like the last 2. But that was not to be.
After he got up the contractions stopped being pushy and went back to the typical moaning transition type contractions for me. And thus the pattern for the next 10 hrs! I talked to Tierney that morning and she was again concerned about not being available for me that day if I needed her. I really thought that baby would come well before evening, or even afternoon (she would have had to leave by 4 for her speech) but she would still be 2 hrs away if I needed her. I told her not to worry, God would take care of it, if I needed her here she would be available, if not, then no worries! He was in control and this conflict was out of our control.
That day (the 26th) felt like the longest day of my life. It was a blur really because though I had time between contractions, I was still a bit out of it mentally (couldn’t focus on much but the labor) . . . though if you asked the people I talked to on the phone they would probably tell you I sounded normal. I remember my 27 hr labor with Xian, but it was such a whirlwind that I had no perception of time. Arah’s birth was also 27 hrs but with the spaced out contractions (first time I experienced those), so compared to a ‘normal’ labor it seemed really laid back it didn’t seem that long.
Having anticipated baby earlier (when I felt those pushy contractions) and then it not happening, made the day just drag on and on. I think another thing that didn’t help was that the kids were SO excited and anxious that they kept asking “When is the baby coming? We have been waiting SO long” and I kept saying “I don’t know, I have been waiting too. I thought it would be this morning but it better be soon.” Despite it just being family (and no midwives to ‘perform’ for) I still felt like a watched pot and I felt bad for making the kids wait so long, and that put more pressure on me. They were great though. Charlie spent the day doing what he normally does when I am in labor, cleaning up stuff and finishing little ‘projects’ around the house.
But despite me still being relaxed, upright, moving, squatting, swaying, keeping my bladder empty, it was still dragging on. I was still moving a lot between contractions. I found myself doing these funny moves, walking around swaying my hips taking huge steps, at one point I felt like crawling on the floor so I did that . . . but only for like 20 sec. I was just SO tired! I knew inside I needed to rest, but my body just wanted to be moving.
By noon I was getting very discouraged! I couldn’t eat all day (though I did make sure to drink), I was mentally and physically exhausted, I was getting the typical transition bouts of chills and hot flashes off and on during the day . . . along with nausea. I kept praying to God . . . I had asked for a shorter labor and this one was dragging on and on!! I mean these moaning type contractions had never lasted more than a few hrs in my other sporadic labors like this. I would reach up inside and feel the baby’s head and waterbag but had no clue how dilated I was (never cared because I never wanted to know before). I did know that baby was moving down though. Because I was picking up heart tones lower and lower throughout the day (and of course it was at times hard to walk). Baby was about to my 2nd knuckle. I kept taking Arnica just in case my cervix was swelling.
I remember thinking that afternoon that if Tierney was available I would have called her to come in my weakness since I was so discouraged. But then I thought,
What would she do for me? An internal? I am against those! Would she remind me that the body works? I know that too. And I don’t really have an ‘issue’ that I think she needs to help with, nor do I really feel a strong leading from God to call her.
I think He made her unavailable to me for a reason . . . so I would trust in Him, not others or even myself. So needless to say I spent a lot of time talking to God. I remember specifically looking into the bathroom mirror saying “God, you know how much I hate the pushing part, but I am ready for it, ready to embrace it." I was talking to the baby too. I almost felt bad for him because I knew he was working SO hard, wiggling around in there so much since labor began. I could feel his head pressing and wiggling on my cervix often throughout the day and I told him I was working hard too and trying to make it easier for him to come. And through it all, the contractions were intense but not really painful, I didn't dread them but welcomed them and was disappointed when I would get a whimpy one that wasn't as strong as I would have liked. They were just like the other contractions in my other labors and I think I know them well and am able to work well with them, plus, having the break in between is a nice time to ‘regroup’ for the next contraction (though sometimes I got bored waiting for the next one to come, LOL).
Finally, around 3:30 or so I said, “Funk this, I’m taking a nap”. So I went to bed and I did sleep. I was hit with some majorly strong contractions but I had told myself to just deal with them lying down and not get up because your body needs rest . . . and I did. I ended up sleeping an hour and ½ only waking when a contraction came but falling back to sleep shortly after
I think the nap was what my body needed. The contractions started getting pushy shortly after I got up. I recognized the pushy sensation that I had felt over 10 hrs earlier and was SO happy it was back! But I didn’t make any assumptions, just went with it. If my body started bearing down at the peak while I was moaning I would let it and if it kept happening I would go with it. Eventually the peaks of my contractions were met with a grunting push and I knew for sure then that it would be over soon. I prayed that pushing would be quick since the labor was long, but apparently God had other plans and you know what, looking back, who am I to question Him? It happens for a reason.
I told Charlie that I would hopefully be pushing soon and when that happened we needed to have the living room ready and the kids in another room because I needed his help. I went and got the dark blue comforter I was going to be on ( and I folded it up and put it on the floor in the corner of the sectional sofa. I put some chux pads on it. Got some towels, baby blankets, hats, tissue, etc. and put them on the sofa where I could easily get them if needed. I covered the rug with a flannel backed table cloth. I had my birth supplies on the table so I moved the herbs etc to the kitchen counter which was right next to the living room (I wanted to be more prepared than last time, when Charile was scrambling to find stuff because he didn’t know where anything was). I had Charlie set up the video cameras (we had 2 but one ended up being so dark it is mostly only sound). I wanted them set up in a way where you could see what was happening, but not be too graphic because I wanted to be able to show it to friends and family if possible. I also had him put on my Phil Wickham CDs.
By the time everything was finished, the contractions had pretty much become all out pushing contractions and I moved to my spot in the living room. It was 6:30pm. With my last 2 births I had started pushing standing up (because I just prefer standing) but progress had really taken off once I went to my knees. So this time I started on my knees leaning over the sofa. Contractions were still spaced out while pushing, but maybe not quite as much (probably no more than 10min apart, most closer, but not as close as in “normal” births). For the first ½ hr or so I didn’t need Charlie; I wasn’t getting my typical back pain while pushing. I thought maybe I was going to be lucky this time . . . unfortunately the hip spreading, paralyzing pain returned as baby got lower, and I needed him to squeeze my hips together to make it bearable. I tried to not push with the pushes, but again, it seemed impossible. The surge came, I would try to moan then the grunt took over and I just held my breath and went with it. I typically get 3-4 of these pushes per contraction. I could feel baby’s head between contractions, about knuckle in or so but it didn’t seem to be moving much (was always in the same place). I tried pushing on my knees, on one knee and one foot, and then I squatted for some, which was very intense. Each time Charlie would turn the cameras off between pushes and then back on when I called him over (so as not to waste film/tape as we didn’t know how long it would take). I would feel another one coming and say ‘ok I need you’ and he would come and apply counter pressure until it was and I would say ‘ok’. We kind of have our routine down since this is the 3rd labor where I have needed this.
Between contractions I mostly stayed on the floor and sang with the music and try to catch my breath, but a few times I would get up and walk around, get a drink etc. I noticed baby’s movements had slowed so I went into the bathroom and grabbed the fetoscope (where I had left it) and listened to heart tones (I was standing and picked them up very low, right above my pubic bone). Everything was fine.
The kids were just a few feet down the hall in the bedroom watching tv and eating snacks. They would pop their heads out and ask “time yet” and we would say “not yet”. Had my contractions been spaced closer together I would have been fine for them to be in there. But with so much ‘contemplation’ time in between them, I needed the peace and quiet.
At some point my water broke, that felt good. I had Charlie look and it said it was clear. It wasn’t a ton of water though; most of that came out with his head and body.
Finally after some time I felt baby’s head come to the perineum. Finally!! Oh man that familiar feeling of being ‘filled up’ down there, like a load of concrete moving through your body (ugh the worse part, can I tell you how much I hate that feeling?).
With the last 2 I had a baby within a contraction or 2 of baby moving under the pubic bone and onto the perineum. But this time, as the head moved down and out, it quickly slipped back between contractions! I was like “what the heck, I have done this 4x before. Why can’t I get the head to stay?" This happened probably a dozen times (literally, over and over and over…horrible). The head would move down and out some, I would feel that intensity down there and after a contraction it would slip all the way back. It wasn’t 3 steps forward and 2 back, it was 3 forward and 3 back !! (I know because I was feeling inside after to see where the head was each time and it was in the same place despite moving so much during pushes). Talk about hard and frustrating and discouraging!!! And each one of these pushes was a sofa cushion gripping, me barely hanging on, legs slipping, just going with it kind of feeling.
When the head would come out and the contraction would stop I would say “stay, stay, stay” or "please stay", only to feel the head slip back in. I was trying to relax, to pant or whatever to keep the head there, to no avail. I went to the bathroom again to check heart tones, still sounded good.
Finally after this back and forth with one major push I thought I got the head about ½ way out (that is how it felt and I am a pretty good judge having done it several times before). This has happened before in my first 3 labors, and typically I can just relax and breathe and the head sits there 1/2 out between contractions and I push the rest of the head out in the next contraction, but low and behold, the whole thing slipped back in after the contraction was over . . . I could NOT believe it . . . so, so discouraging!! I was having a hard time keeping my footing. My knees were slipping on the ground, my feet were slipping when I tried to squat. I was hanging on to the cushions for dear life during the harder pushes. It was like it took over my body and my body was. I was sweating, shaking, I was just so tired. I hadn’t worked this hard to get a baby out since my first was born. (Nothing will top the 5 hrs I pushed with him.)
After 2+ hrs I decided to try something different. I had seen people pushing on their backs and being more in ‘control’ and breathing baby out and I though on my back the floor would provide a natural counter pressure so Charlie wouldn't have to. So I flipped over to a semi sitting/reclining position. It was less intense and I was in more control that way, but it also did absolutely nothing in terms of helping progress. It was whimpy and it was horribly uncomfy on my body and back.
So after a few contractions I said, “Forget this. I am just going to stop and go to bed” I got back on my knees, leaning over the sofa, but my body wasn’t ready to let me rest. I think it was only another contraction or 2 after that where I had the chance, yet again, to get the head out and keep it there. I had kept telling myself with each contraction that I am pushing the head out this time, but some of them just weren’t strong enough to do it.
This time I had a good strong one and once again, the head started to emerge. I was grunting and pushing with it with all my might! The head was halfway out and the contraction stopped but I wasn’t risking it again. I KEPT PUSHING!!!! Xian stuck his head out the door for the 10th time and asked “Time yet?” and I yelled “Yes, come now!” and they all came running in. I kept grunting and pushing with everything I had, my arms clung around the sofa cushion for support, till the whole head was out! FINALLY! Man, what a relief that was!!! With the head came a gush of fluid. I pushed a little more so the neck was out too. I didn’t feel a cord and Charlie didn’t see one. I waited for the body to rotate and asked Charlie what color the head was. He was like “Ummm, same color as you”. With my waterbirths after the head was out it was smooth sailing! I was able to talk to the kids, move around etc, waiting for the body. But being on land with gravity made it harder. I could feel his shoulders inside me moving and it was painful. I had a constant cramp in my stomach and I couldn’t sit upright, I had to lean over the sofa. Plus, I still had the horrible back pain which with the others was usually gone once I got the head past the pubic bone. So I had Charlie still applying counter pressure. I was having a hard time waiting for the shoulders, I was too uncomfortable!! I asked Xian to get the camera and start taking pictures and I asked Charlie again to check the color of the head, which was still good.
I had a few whimpy pushing urges but just decided to try to push on my own to move the shoulders, once I started pushing my body seemed to help and as I grunted the shoulders free I pulled baby out. It was hard to grab him because I was having to lean my body over on the sofa (because being upright was painful) with my hands under me to catch him. But I managed to catch him and pull him up to me!
Piper announced “It’s out”. It was 8:50pm, almost 2 ½ hrs since I started pushing and around 24 hrs since what I would have considered the “start” of labor that baby Thrace finally made his entrance into the world!
Thrace Galen Mason. Born May 26, 2009 at 8.4 lbs.
Welcome to him, and Bless this Kozy Family!
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