"Oh! That's not what labor and delivery are like," my mom would say each time she'd see the "comedic" freak-outs of a birthing mama on a TV show or movie. "She'll never get the baby out like that."
All comedy routines aside, your birth most likely won't mimic what you've seen and heard on TV. That's not to say that screaming can't be a part of a peaceful birth. Sounds like an oxymoron: yelling and peace? Naw. Any woman who has given birth, naturally or otherwise, knows that we make some pretty crazy sounds when working things out with our bodies.
But what my mom would point out, and nowadays most birth educators second the motion, is this: the classic lounge position and cussing out your husband? They just don’t cut it.
The Why: Think of gravity. Your body pushes everything out when in a sitting or squatting position than when lying down. As my birth class teacher said: “Think of the vagina as a pipe. Horizontally, things don’t move as fast as they do vertically.”
Well, duh. (BTW: I don’t love to think of the vagina as a pipe.)
But as a birthing culture, we’re so caught on a few hooks that are liable to hang us: Pain Free! Quick…Like Now!
There IS are reason it’s called labor, people. I’m not here preaching natural childbirth because it’s a pain-free, easy ride. It’s not.
But the benefits are well worth it:
- Giving birth is one of the most meaningful, memorable experiences of a woman’s—a family’s—life. If you are drugged up during or after, you may be missing out on the whole experience. But I can handle not experiencing pain! You think. Sure, sure. But…
- Pain is useful. During my natural labors, the strength of the contractions showed me what to do. Especially for the second, I knew before the attendants when I went through Transition. I knew when I was supposed to push. I listened to my body and doing so made my labor more successful; I was having back labor, so I breathed through contractions—and delivered—on all fours. Medical Childbirth: Because an epidural numbs your body, you are not as able to respond to the vital signs it’s giving you, the most important being Push! BTW: Having an epidural does not mean you will not experience any pain. But it will vastly change your birthing experience.
- Move it, ladies. If you had an overhead camera on me during either labor, I would probably look pretty erratic. Sit, stand, walk, down on all fours. Walk, walk, look like I’m dancing, walk, pee pee dance, walk. Medical Childbirth: Once you’re drugged, you must be monitored. That means no moving, which helps get that baby out!
- Afterward, you will feel like a superhuman. You could run a marathon. You could fight evil in a fancy costume. Never mind that all will do is cuddle up with that new baby to your breast. You’re strong, and you’ve just given natural birth.
You have to be a “granola” or “hippie” to give birth naturally. Nope. You simply have to trust in your body. You already know your body can do some pretty amazing things, like hike a miles-long steep slope or jog every morning. You trust it for those little journeys. Trust it now for this monumental step in your life.
You better be a superwoman. Not at all. I am tall, of average weight. I have never run a marathon, but I did prep my body for both labors by taking walks. Your body knows what to do, no matter who you are!
You’ll turn into a screaming crazy woman without those meds. You won’t turn into someone you’re not. How do you deal with pain now? I mean, think about a larger injury, one that wasn’t healed immediately, like a sprain or a broken bone. I apparently get quite quiet, like I did with an Achilles’ tendon injury. I go internal and work through the pain mentally. You’ll “deal” with contractions in a very similar way to other painful moments.
You choose a natural birth, and you’re “stuck” with that decision. First things first: nothing is set in stone for a vaginal labor and delivery. No matter what you plan, the birth won’t go exactly that way. It’s Parenting 101: nothing goes exactly as planned, so be flexible! When you make your Birth Plan, choose as little interventions as possible if you’d like, and the conditions for which you’d like those interventions offered. Natural birthing doesn’t mean tossing all other options out the window; it means trusting your body to bring that baby out before those interventions even cross your mind.
You are a “failure” if your planned natural birth becomes one with interventions. This discussion isn’t meant to judge, ladies. One of the best birth stories I have heard was a friend’s labor. She was exhausted from over a dozen hours of hard-core pushing and turned to an epidural, which gave her some rest. When she recouped, she was ready, had a quick delivery, and then bonded beautifully with her baby. Here's the thing: You are not a failure. You have carried and nourished and given birth to a wonderful babe. That's really what matters.
Yes, I am an advocate for natural childbirth. I believe our bodies were made to give birth. This is not because of divine retribution, but because our bodies were designed this way. As a feminist, I believe that we should have all options available for our bodies. But also, we should trust in the amazing thing our femaleness can do: give birth.
The How: You didn’t think I’d “push” you to go au naturale without giving you some tips, did you? Prep:
Prenatal Yoga: All that stretching and moving is designed perfectly for a blossoming belly. You’ll get exercise while learning relaxation techniques, which will come in handy during your labor and once baby is here!
Walking: Every care provider recommends light exercise, providing you are not a high-risk woman. Walking is great way to “engage” baby’s head in the correct down position. That whole gravity thing again.
Sex: Get that baby out the way it got in! You’ll be storing up lovin’ for those “don’t insert vaginally” weeks after giving birth. Generally you have to abstain for six weeks for vaginal birth, and even longer for a C-section! (Another reason to go natural.) But there are other benefits besides the obvious fun of it:
- Prostaglandins: Semen contains prostaglandins, which cause the cervix to "ripen" and begin to open up. Prostaglandins are also the active ingredients in some of the hospital treatments for induction.
- Orgasm: When you enjoy yourself, your body releases oxytocin, which stimulates contractions. So you might as well get labor going the same way you conceived...with an act of love!
Herbal Stimulation: As with all methods mentioned here, check with your care provider!
- Step 1: Red Raspberry Leaf. A quite common pregnancy herb, red raspberry leaf tea is great for pregnant women, as well as for menstrual cramps. Why it may work: Helps prepare the uterus for labor by strengthening and toning the uterus.
- Step 2: Evening Primrose Oil. Contraindicative before 38 weeks of pregnancy, Evening Primrose oil is to be administered in tablets as a vaginal suppository (when no rupturing of membranes have occurred). Why it may work: It can soften the cervix and perineum, therefore allowing softer passage or allowing you to "ripen." This is also great for women who have heavy cramps during their period. You can take orally then to prep your womb for your cycle.
- Step 3: Cohosh (Black or Blue). Another very common herb for late pregnancy, usually administered through a ticture or balm. It is not recommended for use before 38 weeks and is considered contraindicative for earlier stages. Midwives, rather than doctors, generally prescribe them. But one study shows that many did not learn of cohosh in their formal training and have come to rely on it through their own experience instead. Why it may work: They may stimulate uterine contractions or help regulate them and make them stronger. Cohosh may be taken a couple weeks before your due date and also during labor, but always under medical supervision!
- Step 4: Castor Oil: The most common natural "herbal" induction method, it is taken orally through a variety of suggested cocktails. It is not recommended except under the care of your midwife or doctor, as some believe it may also cause the baby to release meconium, which can be dangerous. Why it may work: your uterus is closely tied to your bowels. For some women, expelling the intestines stimulates the uterus and causes it to produce prostaglandins. Just make sure you don't mind starting your labor on the potty.
Still scared? Totally normal. I was scared during both my labors. You hit a moment where you go Can I do this? and your body then answers Yes...Push Now!
A big part of birthing natural is going through each stage feeling differently. It's okay to feel afraid, but just like in life, don't let that fear hinder you.
For more resources:
GivingBirthNaturally.com has many helpful pages and links, including one on Relaxation Techniques.
BirthingNaturally.com answers your FAQs about natural childbirth.
I snagged my Birth Plan using this interactive guide from the Childbirth.org site.
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